It’s back to school time across the nation. Time to trade those lazy afternoons for the late bell, sunburns for the fluorescent lights. But we’re taking a decidedly old school approach to school days and packing some smart styles for the new year. Vintage shirts let everyone know that no assistant principal is gonna rattle your cage as you cruise the halls.
So as the late bell rings here at HQ, we powered up the brain trust and realized that it’s been 20 years in the workforce. Yikes. And nothing was a more shocking reminder of the passage of time (aside from the million Facebook posts of your friend’s kid’s back to school picture) is the announcement that The Matrix is back. That’s right, Neo and Trinity are back for The Matrix 4.
Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. Thanks Morpheus.
So reflecting on the late 90s vintage – I spent the better part of my last two years of college trying to discuss The Matrix as an academic topic. Seriously, this is what we did, but I was a psychology major, so what else was I supposed to talk about? Also, maybe this is why I’m a Lifestyle Generalist specializing in t-shirt culture?
We talked about the blue pill vs. the red pill, the spoon, and what is even real. We spent a lot of time talking about what the party was actually like in Zion. And of course we tried to freeze our bodies sideways like neo when he dodges the bullets. And do the jump kicks. More on that coming up.
But in that very real world-in a time before smartphones and such- this is what happened to me the first time I went to see The Matrix. This is true.
I watched the first 15 minutes of Analyze This, the Billy Crystal / Bob De Niro comedy classic thinking it was The Matrix. I was so confused. Where was Neo? When would it be the sublime dark and gritty sci fi thrill ride I was so excited for?
Well, it turns out that somewhere between hotboxing the minivan in a suburban Philly movie theater parking lot and the start of the film I missed the part where The Matrix was sold out and so we, as a group, were seeing Analyze This. This was a time, remember, before Fandango and moviefone which probably aren’t a thing anymore anyways.
More recently I found myself explaining Neo to my son, who’s only Keanu Reeves context is the fantastic song “I Punched Keanu Reeves” from Hello Peril and that funny Netflix movie Always Be My Maybe.
My son thought The Matrix sounded pretty cool, but was more intrigued by the plot of Speed, as described by me in 2 minutes on the way to camp. Later, attempting to impress upon his young mind that The Matrix was arguably a more significant film than Speed, I showed him the Matrix training theme on my smartphone.
Then watched him promptly kick his coach at gymnastics camp as she tried to give him a high five.
In conclusion, stay in school kids. Even if it sounds boring now, someone might show you a cool fight seen from a movie you don’t even know about. And if you don’t study hard you won’t get into college and be able to discuss Keanu Reeves movies. Or become a dad and discuss Keanu Reeves movies. Well scratch that. I guess you you could still become a dad – so listen to your health teacher too – even if he’s also your gym teacher.
Now if you’re just looking to look smart, try out any number of our clever Solid Threads vintage shirts. They’re buttery soft and original enough to make you stand out in the halls as you perfect your lean against the lockers.
Lastly it should be mentioned while discussing back to school that Young MC’s song “Off to the Principal’s Office” is incredible, and arguably a better song than “Bust a Move”.
Old School, playing loud, here at Solid Threads HQ.
Comments will be approved before showing up.