July 22, 2019 3 min read
As the July heat wave melted the east coast and midwest with face-puddling temps, a new study from the Journal of Vintage T-Shirts** finds that hot temperatures call for the right shirt. We all go searching for the shirt that’s the ideal weight, fabric, and fit when its hot out. You know which one we’re talking about.
Vintage threads will certainly keep you cooler than most performance gear, the study found.
Nobody wants to go to the brunch with the guy who’s wearing the same performance shirt he bought when he was dating that girl who likes hot yoga. But the guy in the 17-year-old AC/DC shirt that’s just the right faded, wrinkled, and screams Sunday Funday? It’ll play.
Now, sleeveless shirts are an option to enhance coolness, cause you know, its less fabric (see also: tank tops, half shirts). This look, however, can be a slippery slope. When you’re flashing your guns you’re showing some aggression. You’ll want to take care that the shirt states your business. I’ve been sporting this vintage Bob Dylan / Tom Petty sleeveless number for BBQs, backyard hangouts, and the occasional concert. It gets a good laugh, a nod of respect, and gets some much needed rays to the upper portion of my noodle arms.
A V-neck, and particularly a deep V-neck shirt will get more air to the crucial upper-chesty hot-spot. Benefits of the “deep V” are a great place to hang sunglasses, but the deep V also emotes a sensitive vibe that not everyone can pull off. Like someone who really likes Interpol or corrects friends when they mispronounce espresso. Or you’re a total Rockstar like the dude from the Kings of Leon, who I believe holds the world record for deepest V…in hist-O-Ree. So what do we really know – again, we’re just reporting on that new study, remember?
There’s a fine line on some of those lightweight shirts you’ve been sporting forever. (Case in point, this vintage Grateful Dead shirt that has been jamming a touch too long). It’s got that vintage, worn look, the cotton is super soft (butter, velvet, a million kittens). But its approaching that too thin stage where you can kinda see your nipple through the shirt. Maybe its just a shadow of a nipple, or a notion of a nipple. But nobody wants that. Nobody really even wants to be reading an article that talks about nipples. Moving on.
To really beat the heat, consider a brand new, light weight, super-soft, vintage inspired shirt from Solid Threads. Put a smile on someone’s face as they’re melting in the sun with one of our cooler weather themed shirts. It’s the east coast, and sure, we like to pretend like it doesn’t get brain frying hot, but it does. Every summer. Plus there’s the whole global warming thing. So better stock up for next summer too, cause its probably going to be hotter.
Or, pray for better weather. But remember, Jesus is probably down in the southern hemisphere, catching some mad blue bird ski days in like New Zealand (if that’s the southern hemisphere).
We’re based in Vermont. And its hot here. We’d go swimming but all the pools are filled with maple syrup, but you probably already knew that about us***. At least it will be snowing soon. Therefore, we’re choosing to celebrate Christmas in July. So stay cool and wear cool shirts.
*Not actually, but somebody might think you’re cooler.
**To our knowledge, and a quick Google search, there is no Journal of Vintage T-Shirts.
***This is actually true. Chester A. Arthur, the 21st president who was from Vermont, was the first known man to do this. But he was mostly known for his bitchin’ side whiskers.
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